Just call me "Pablum Picasso"

     So, as it turns out, when you practice something, you slowly get better at it.  Did you know this? It seems kind of unfair.  Where's the fun in not just being instantly good at everything? Anyway, I've been doodling like crazy lately.  Trying to stick with a more cartoony style, because drawings of real things are boring.  Like, New Brunswick boring (ooooooh burn ooooooh).  If I had to name a style I wanted to shoot towards developing, I guess I would call it modern internet? It's sort of a mish-mash of art styles brought together in one glorious orgy.  Take some Ren and Stimpy, mix in a little manga stuff, maybe garnish with some absurd for the sake of absurd, and have it fart.  Adventure Time is a great example of this style; you get the overly-detailed butt-cheeks of Ren and Stimpy, the huge eyes and weird facial expressions of manga, all dropped into situations that make no sense, with farts.  Kate Beaton is an excellent example of on-the-internet internet style.  Add to that the fact that she's a fucking scream.  She's making one of the smartest, funniest comics on the internet today, and the biased part of me says it's because she's Nova Scotian.  Something about crushing economic depression and alcohol abuse brings out the funny in a culture.  From a different angle there is Will Laren.  This guy totally eschews realism and goes straight for disgusting, and then puts great captions on them.  I'm not as funny as either of them, but maybe someday I'll find a combination of drugs and attitude that will at least make it look like I am.

     I did some more doodling.  Like I said I would.  It's not great, but I'm making myself laugh.  My facebook feed is swimming with people who have been going through proper channels to learn art, and they've been making great progress.  It's a funny contrast to see their ever-improving realism while entropy grips my skills harder and harder.  Whatever, I'm still going to show you my shitty progress because I think I'm a total scream.

    
     So, hey! Those look like actual hands and feet! I've only been at this for a few weeks and I'm already doing better than Rob Liefeld! Even though the face is this weird mask of angry darkness (so about on par with Liefeld).  Take note of the drawstring hoodie, because I've noticed it's the only clothing I can draw.  I assume it's what the young and hip kids are wearing, but I'm so out of touch I'm still wearing straight-leg jeans.

     This is Francis! Or at least a prototype of him.  He's a character from the same project as Billy Hunt, from a previous update.  Want to see a close up of his face? Rhetorical. You have no choice.

     So this is almost on the grossness level of the Will Laren drawings, just with more of an amateur smack.  I'm hoping that if I just keepdrawing this disgusting asshole over and over again I'll land on something I can call a finished product.  Well, at least progress on him has come farther than the next guy;

     So Captain Clubfoot here is Matt; another character from the same project.  I don't even know what I want his face to look like, every time I try to imagine it I come up with David Cross' character from the King of the Hill episode "The Witches of East Arlen".

      I've been trying to come up with a process to maybe make my drawings more consistent, and I've decided that I'm going to subject you to that process, step-by-step (day by day).  Check this shit out:

 

     So, lay down a stick figure skeleton first, right? Pretty simple beginner stuff.  Gesture drawing for a rough outline of the body shape, good good.  Honestly I should start using reference pictures and not drawing this from my mind's eye, but whatever, I do what I want.  Note how the head is in a very uncomfortable looking "oh no you di'int" sort of position, that could probably stand to be changed.  You'll also notice this is nearly the same pose as Fargo from a previous update; this is because I don't know how to art.

     Ok, that's a little better.  The head doesn't look like it's been stuck onto a broken neck, and while the hands aren't great, they sort of look like hands.  Also, boobs! I feel like I'm trying to not go overboard on the boobs, because I really feel they distract from my poop jokes.  The head has a kewpie doll/Betty Boop thing going on that I'm not super pleased with, but this is all part of the sucking less in small increments process. 

    Here we see the return of my beloved drawstring hoodie, and I figured why not toss in a pointless skirt to add a little sauce to it.  Accompanying this look is an s.o.s. pad hairstyle, because holy shit I haven't learned to draw hair yet.  That seems like it would be important.  What is this picture missing, aside from the feet? Probably some kind of stupid caption.

  I think my favourite part of this blog update is how I made it seem like there would be a conclusion picture, and then didn't follow through.  The truth is, there totally is one, but all attempts to put it in this update were stymied.  Maybe I'll get around to putting it up in the next one.   Anyway, I'm going to keep trying with this, and I'm going to clockwork-orange you into observing it.